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Sisters, Too: Down the Path at Grandma’s

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Stories

Captain Kidd-U-Not
By:

Ahoy maties! I am pleased as gator punch that yore on The Outer Banks a visitiní. Come now and join me in a colorful adventure as we sail the seven seas and sample the blowiní breeze. Hoist those sails with me because I am Captain Kidd-U-Knot, the craziest, laziest, silliest, giddiest, loudest, most boastful pirate to ever set sail, donchano? I have sailed around this big world of ours seventeen and one half times, so hold onto yore hats and climb aboard this big ship of mine, cause we are off on an adventure!

Uh oh. There are too many of you! I hope you donít plan on taking over my ship now, do you? Tis best that you share yore cereal and bananas with me, as well also any other snacks that you plan to bring along. I see you hiding those little bags of goodies. Any of you have a peanut butter and onion sandwich? Yummy! Jest what do you have tucked away for this big bold and greedy captain? Ho Yo Yo and a bottle of milk!

We are leaving shore and a good wind is picking up. Donít you get seasick on me now. Lets hoist that Jolly Roger flag up into the air and let the rest of the world know that we are on our merry way Ho Yo Yo!

Tonight, maties, we shall sing our jolly sea shanties and do a swashbuckling jig or two. Can you play cards? How about a good game of dice? Iíll wager that I can win at every game, because I am the biggest and boldest swashbuckling captain of any ship, donchano? On with the bingo!

Yawn. Stretch. Whoa is me, for I am tired and ready to take a short nap. I shall close my eyes while I put my ship into yore very good hands. You are in charge of steering her to ports far away. Can you do it?

I am awake now. I got too much sleep and I am very cranky! In fact, I want some peace and quiet! I think I will make you swim to a deserted island. I am going to make you walk the plank. Off my ship you go. One. Two. Three. Splish splash and good riddance to ya!

Ho Ho Hee! Now all I have is ME!
Iíll find them gold doubloons
And whistle happy tunes
Gold and silver everywhere
Iíll find a maiden oh so fair
With purty flowing golden hair
Ho Ho Hee. All treasures jest fer me!

Well Iíll be! Look what just landed on my shoulder. A white parrot? Ho ho hee! Who ever saw a white parrot before? Fly away you silly, nilly, bare bird. Where are yore colors?

What are you whispering to me white parrot? Ho ho hee! This bird says that I do not appreciate all that I have before me. Taint true you bare, silly, nilly, white bird. I have my big ship, lots of gold and silver, snack packs everywhere, precious jewels and fine clothes made of glistening thread. I have much more than you have ever seen! What do you mean? Of course I know my colors! Well, ask me about them then, bare bird!

BLUE? Itís the color of sapphires here in my treasure chest. I am the richest captain this side of the world. Blue is the color of the sea and my true loveís eyes? Itís the color of the sky on a clear day. Hmmm, what else is blue, I wonder? Can you tell me?

GREEN? Ho Yo Yo! In my treasure chest, I have so many emeralds all dazzling green! Iíve got more than any other pirate in the world. Green is the color of those playful sea turtles. Ahhhhh Öthe color of the grass in the fields backs home! How I love those swaying palm trees greeting me at distant shores. Can you name anything that you know is green?

RED? Itís the color of my face when I get angry and oh so jealous of others whom I think have more than I do! How about rubies, them sparkling red jewels that I have in my treasure chest, of course? Itís the color of my true loves red lips and cheeks on a cold winters day. Oh dear, I am missing her now.

PURPLE? Ahhhhhh, itís the color of the kingsí and queensí long flowing robes. Them precious jewels found underneath the ocean floor in heavy chests that have sunken many years gone by are magnificently purple. The sky is purple at sunrise when the horizon turns into velvety hues that make my heart pound in awe!

YELLOW? What a silly question. My gold of course! I got lots of it too. I enjoy seeing the tall, magnificent sunflowers waving about in gardens. The sun is yellow when it comes out to make the day ever so warm and clear and radiant! Corn on the cob in the summer! Melted butter on my popcorn!

Oh dear. I am so very hungry. My stomach growls louder than I do!
The cook in the galley should be preparing my meal about now Uh oh, I forgot. I made him walk the plank and swim away to a deserted island with the others.

Oh me. Oh my. I am lonely. There is nobody here except this white bird and me. Oh, how I long to hear me maties voices singing and having a laugh or two. What have I done? I was mean and made them all go away. Truly, I am sorry. What shall I do to make it better? Can anyone tell me?

What are you saying to me white parrot? Is that so? You can? Oh I do promise! This is the best news that I have heard during this long journey. My, you are such a wise bird. You are going away for a little while you say? Please come back and visit me. You were my friend when I needed one.

Yoo hoo! Swim back all you maties! I vow to you all that I will share all of my treasures, as well as my peanut butter and marshmallow fluff onion sandwiches! I wonít be greedy and nasty if only you will keep me company once again on this long and lonely voyage!

I am looking through my telescope. Ho Yo Yo! What is this that I see? Every single pirate that I made walk the plank is now swimming back to our ship. Do you think that they have forgiven this gruff and oh so cranky pirate and want to be pals again? Ho Yo Yo. I hope so.

Climb aboard and dry off! We shall have a wonderful time this evening, maties. I am truly sorry that I made you so wet and hungry. We still have lots of good sailing to do, donchano?

Look above! Could it be that white parrot? It just landed upon my big and strong shoulders. It is not white this time. It is as colorful as a parrot should be!

Oh, how I do appreciate all of the magnificent colors of the world. I am so thankful for true friends as well. I promise to give up my plunder and blunder, and to be nice to all pirates upon these seas, as well as to the friends that I meet everywhere around this big and wonderful world of ours!
Ho ho hee! Happy is me.

Pamela Munson Steadman 2000 copyrighted

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